Today I’m going to talk about the dreaded topic of networking! I know as musicians, especially as piano players, a lot of us hate the concept of going into a random room of strangers, talking to people, and getting gigs. However, I actually think networking is more important than your piano ability in terms of your ability to get gigs and get paid off of your music. If you’re interested in making a living off your music, networking is absolutely critical.
Today I’m going to tell you a few things:
- How to get over that awkward stage
- The exact thing to say to get into conversation
- How to continue the conversation and get the contact details
- The “One Thing Rule”
- How to choose networking venues to make your job much easier
Getting over that Awkward Stage at Networking Events
When you walk into a networking event, we all have that same awkward feeling. Back when I first moved to Nashville I only really knew one person and so I attended these events as well. I was trying to meet musicians and find a way to make a living off of music.
The first big mistake I made at these events was approaching big groups, kind of just lingering, and I didn’t really talk to anyone. It was sort of an easy way to tell myself I was networking, but I wasn’t actually getting much out of it.
Instead, here’s what I recommend doing – go around the networking event and find those people that look like they’re feeling as awkward as you are. Those people will connect with you way faster than others who are already engaged in conversations and talking to everybody.
When you find the first person you want to approach, go up to them, and instead of trying to “network” with them, just approach the situation very casually, like you’re just making a new friend and having a good time. That attitude or mindset will actually make your networking efforts that much more successful.
How to get into a Conversation at a Networking Event
So, when you walk up to a guy at one of these networking events, just empathize and bond with him first. Often times I’ll just say something like, “Man, I’m not going to lie, I’m so awkward at these networking events” and almost every time they’ll say something back like, “Oh I know, me too, I just want to sit in my room and play guitar but I have to come to these events and try to talk to people.” This instantly gives you a connection, because you can tell beforehand that they’re feeling the exact same way you’re feeling.
Through that opener you establish a quick bond and then next I like to say something like, “So, what do you do man, what’s your thing?” I like saying that because it’s very casual. You want everything to feel like just a normal social interaction, not seeming like you’re doing this serious thing called “networking.”
Body Language and How to Keep a Conversation Going
If the person you’re talking to is facing forward, you don’t want to come at him directly, you almost want to approach him casually from the side, looking out at the rest of the event. This makes it seem a lot more chill and low pressure of an interaction.
When you ask the person you’re talking to about what they do, they’ll say something like, “I play guitar” and here you’ll want to implement a strategy I learned from one of the most popular books of all-time “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
One of the strategies mentioned in the book says to be interested in the other person more so than talking about yourself. I think the book misses one thing though which is that you still have to relate to what the other person is talking about. If you don’t, it doesn’t come off like you’re bonding, it just seems like you’re interviewing them with all of these questions.
Instead, after the other person says something, you say something relatable and then ask another question. This back and forth with relatable input from your end makes the conversation go better. I have a demonstration of this about 5:45 into this video.
As you move through the conversation you’ll continue to have this back and forth until eventually the other person asks you more questions. You want to make it known that you’re searching for gigs, but you don’t want to ask for gigs.
When you respond to questions you also want to give them a few different things they may be able to relate to. Don’t just tell them “I play piano” and hope they’ll respond well. When I first started going to events in Nashville I would tell people that I just moved from Wisconsin, I play piano, and I’m looking for gigs. This gave people a few different hooks to latch onto. Maybe they know someone from Wisconsin or they just moved to the same city too – give them options.
Some of this may seem convoluted, like you have these steps you need to follow, but if you’re an introverted and analytical piano player like me, you might need some sort of structure to get you started. If you’re an extrovert, you may not need any of this at all.
After you talk to this person and get their contact details, it’s usually much easier to go and talk to the next person. The rest of the night is a lot easier, you got rid of some of your nerves, and you’re in a much better state to talk to other people. It’s just like piano – you start by warming up on your scales and it makes your song easier. With networking, once you warm up socially, it makes the rest of the night easier.
The “One Thing Rule”
This is the most important step in networking – make a spreadsheet. Yup, you have to do it. I know some people will say it’s creepy, but it’s so important.
Here’s what you should include:
- The person’s name
- Something you’ll recognize them by
- One thing you can talk about the next time you see them
Then, because most business cards will have the person’s social media, you should go to their Facebook page or YouTube channel and actually listen to their music. Try to find one thing you like about it. This is SO important.
Before I kept a spreadsheet I used to go to a networking event, meet someone cool, have a good conversation and exchange information, and when I’d see them at the next networking event I’d basically forget everything we talked about. Then, I’d have this awkward situation where I debated approaching them again and if I did end up talking with them it was so strange to try and remember what we actually talked about.
If you have the spreadsheet and the one thing about them to mention, next time you see them it’ll be so easy to walk up to them, say hello, and compliment them on a specific part of their music. They key here is having something specific to compliment them on. You can’t just tell them “Good job” on their music – it has to be specific and it also has to be genuine.
After a few weeks of networking you’ll start to figure out who the regulars are. You’ll become friends with them and when you go to more events you’ll feel confident knowing so many people. Then, other people at the events will notice that you know so many people and they’ll start to approach you. This is the point you want to get to.
Three Types of Networking Events and Which to Choose
When it comes to networking there are basically three types of events:
- Piano Meetup Groups
- “Normal” networking events where you go to network as musicians
- Singer/songwriter nights or open mic nights
The piano networking events are probably the worst spots to actually find gigs. Think about it, if they had any gigs, they’d probably be taking them because they want the gig.
I love piano meetup groups, it’s always fun to meet piano players and exchange ideas, but in terms of actual networking, don’t expect to get many gigs from these.
Normal networking events can be good, but they’re still not as good as singer/songwriter nights or open mic nights. I’ve actually gotten most of my gigs through open mic nights. The reason is that you have the ability to actually demonstrate your piano skills. The secret to this is using 9th chords. If you don’t know what these are I show them off in my “Secret Sauce” left hand pattern video.
Basically, it’s a certain chord type that makes everything sound more emotional. From my experience I’ve noticed that when I use this, more people come up and talk to me and more people ask me about gigs.
The reason these singer and songwriter nights are great is that it’s really easy to talk to people. You just tell people you liked their song, using a specific and genuine compliment, and BOOM, you’re good to go. To prepare for those interactions, you just have to watch people perform, take notes on your phone of the one thing you like about their song or performance, and you’ll have that ready to go when you talk to them.
There are two other important things I have to mention. First, you should be going to these networking events consistently. I like to try and find weekly events so that I can build those relationships with people. Second, you want to come to these events early and stay late. Yes, it’s a huge time commitment, but the best networking happens before the event and after the event.
If you want more tips, tactics, and strategies like these, check out my free course, Become a Piano Superhuman.